No Love for Apostrophe-S.

I’m watching French Open early rounds right now (thanks, Tivo), and just remembered to complain about something I’ve wondered for years.

Regardless of channel, regardless of sport, I’ve never heard a commentator use “apostrophe-s.” EVER.

“The forehand of Moya is formidable today.”
“The throws of Manning were perfectly accurate all game.”
“Watch out for the Clemens curveball.”

When I imagine commentators in training, I imagine their teachers saying something along the lines of “your whole life, you were taught to speak like a ‘normal’ (they actually make air-quotes with their fingers at this point) person. Now, you will speak like one of us!”

Seriously. What the hell?! Anyone?!

I Almost Forgot...

...To complain about a preview I saw in front of X-Men a couple days ago.

Snakes on a Plane: a new movie which features - GASP! - snakes - on a plane!

It's a bit of a catch-22; part of me is absolutely aghast at the flagrant "let's pull something out of our ass" attitude I imagine the writers sported upon creating such crap. The other part of me can't help but feel hypocritical about that attitude, though, since I'm always complaining about how Hollywood has completely lost every cent of originality they once had.

So, kudos to you writers for coming up with something that hasn't been done before (I think). But for future reference, here are some movie ideas that are slightly less ridiculous:

Cell Phones in the Doctor's Office
Ozzy Goes to Church
Grandma Got an M16
Pastries and Arthritis
My Weenie Hurts
Hitler is my Homey
Pee Wee Goes to Prison
Paris Hilton: Exposed!
This Movie Blows!

Molly Freaking Simms.

I joked (or begged, whichever) a while back about how I wanted to move myself up the Google search page. Apparently Scatterbrain is now the #1 search result for "molly simms tao." (thanks for the information, SiteMeter)

So, she screwed us out of getting into the club last weekend, but what's up now, Molly? I'm your #1 search result, bee-otch!

Which, of course, means absolutely nothing.

Vicarious.

Radiohead has been on tour overseas for the last month or so, and thanks to 58 hours, I've had the opportunity to live vicariously through others' concert experiences. A couple clinchers lately have been the first live performance of "Gagging Order" (amazing song) and a couple appearances of "Let Down," not only my favorite Radiohead song, but my favorite song of all time. I've got to admit - I felt a bit choked up just thinking about beholding that song live. I'm not sure I could handle it in reality - I might totally lose it. It's pretty crazy when you're such a huge fan that you don't long for hits or even album tracks, but those rare, beautiful moments when you know you've beheld something that most fans will never see. Radiohead happens to have a catalogue of "b-sides" so robust and unbelievable that they make most artists' "a-sides" seem pathetic in comparison.

In fact, in this moment of quiet, midnight-hour Scatterbrain-ed rambling, I'll challenge myself to leave you with my 10 favorite Radiohead b-sides. I guarantee I'll forget a few and modify the list later, but you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs...

In no particular order (I don't want to be up all night, people)

1. Killer Cars (acoustic)
2. Pearly*
3. Gagging Order
4. How Can You Be Sure?
5. Banana Co.
6. Talk Show Host
7. Lull
8. Worrywort
9. The Trickster
10. True Love Waits (was released on a live EP, but never a full-length album)

Any Radiohead fans reading this - I want to see your top 10!

Aaaaah.

There's nothing like waking up on a Sunday morning, enjoying a delicious breakfast, and relaxing, knowing you have the day off tomorrow as well.

The Season Finale of "Lost."

Oh.

My.

God.

The Call of the Dinosaur.

I didn’t actually call any dinosaurs during the trip to Las Vegas this past weekend, but I heard that phrase for the first time at the May Fast Week and I think it’s absolutely hilarious. What does it mean, you ask? Imagine what many people do after a night of massive drinking, and you’ll get the idea.

Vegas was awesome. Once I get pictures, they will probably explain things much better than I could ever write, but in the meantime here are some highlights:

--About 25 people came to the party

--Friday: everyone hung out and gambled

--Saturday: there were excursions to In ‘n’ Out Burger, various trips to lay out by the pool, and more gambling, which led to…

--Saturday night/Sunday morning: We originally planned to go out to eat and then to a club called Pure. It turns out Pure had some sort of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit thing going on, and we weren’t going to be able to get in. Our backup plan was a place called Tao, where we planned to eat dinner and then go to the adjoining club. Once we got there, we discovered that after paying $100 per couple to eat dinner, we’d have a receipt which would move us forward in line at the club, but we still wouldn’t be able to get in to the club because we had 4 more guys than girls. Apparently it was Molly Simms' (sp?) birthday party, and they were being particularly stingy about who got in. Bastards.

We debated whether to still eat dinner at Tao for a while. Finally, Monika and I came to a revelation (because it was our party and we decided we’d have enough of Tao’s crapulence) that we wanted to go find a food court and then go to a club that wasn’t quite so trendy (although they are all trendy to a certain extent). We ended up going downstairs in the Venetian to a food court where I had an awesome chicken sandwich, and everyone enjoyed what was a slightly inferior, but drastically less expensive dinner. However, we were all able to sit together, talk, and have a good time without a background of deafening (and low-quality) techno in the background.

After dinner, per Mike’s recommendation, we went to The Wynn and a club called Lure. It was still massively expensive getting in ($20 per guy, girls free), but much cheaper than the fictional Tao scenario ($30 per person). Lure was perfect. We got in and immediately plopped down in a couple areas in the middle of the bar that are typically reserved for people that buy bottles (imagine a bottle of Jack for $300 – yeah, right). We spent the rest of the evening drinking, dancing, and taking hundreds of pictures that will appear at some point.

When we left Lure, everyone was dead tired and most went to bed. After tucking in Monika, I returned downstairs to join Rajiv, Tal, Charles, Josh, and Mike – Josh and Mike had a 7 a.m. flight so clearly they weren’t going to sleep that night. Josh, I might add, landed from said flight and immediately drove to Colorado Springs, where his sister graduated later that night. Now *that’s* dedication!

Now, a few days later, I’m still a bit exhausted from the whole thing. My workout on Monday was not pretty. In fact, I felt the need to call some dinosaurs more at that point than when I was drinking Crown and Cokes like they were water.

The last thing I have to say is this, which Monika’s mom declared after her 50th birthday party, because I felt the same sentiment on Sunday evening:

“It was the best fucking party EVER!”

Vegas-bound.

Tomorrow Monika and I head off to Vegas for our joint bachelor/bachelorette party. We've got a big group going - almost 30 people! I have no doubt that there will be incriminating pictures abound when we return, so stay tuned...

It.

I am sad, so I'm trying to think of something to write which won't make me more upset. Apparently Monika tagged me about a month ago with this, but I never log on to MySpace, so it's taken me this long to notice it...

---

Once you've been tagged, you have to write a blog with "6 weird things/habits about yourself". In the end you need to choose the 6 people to be tagged and list their names.

1. When I put CDs back in their case, I usually align them perfectly straight in the package.

2. I have a shitload of shoes.

3. ...and stuffed animals.

4. I like nuts, but not "nuts in stuff."

5. I still wear my retainer (at night) 10 years later (qualifies as "weird" since most people ditch the habit after a few days...one friend I knew already had to get braces again - dumbass...)

6. Random obsessiveness over order in some things, chaos in others, and ordered-chaos in others. Like having a big pile o' crap where the location of each item in said pile is precisely known.

I request that the following Earthlings reproduce the above list (please ignore me, I'm going bonkers):

Robby
Party Army Captain
Chad
Barmaid
Chanan
Mr. President (since Monika and I invited him to our wedding, I figure he must read Scatterbrain as well)

Tired.

(written earlier)

After an incredibly hectic week, I’m on AA3360 heading back to DFW.

Honestly, I’m at a loss for words at the moment. It’s a combination of happiness and exhaustion, combined with a dash of sadness since that was probably the last time I visited the CMU campus as a student.

Surprisingly, my Fort Worth classmates and I are on the first DFW/PITT flight in our experiences that hasn’t been either delayed or canceled. Perish the thought! It only increases the timeliness with which we’ll return to our beds for sweet slumber.

The view from seat 4D is absolutely nothing at the moment, just pure, white/gray light. It’s probably better that way, since there are usually a thousand distractions at a time these days, it’s hard to get everything done. It’s the plane’s subtle way of telling me that although I may be tired, I still have a lot of work to do...

"The Cut"

(From one of my writing exercises today...)

Click click
Click click
Click click

That’s the sound of a skateboarder rolling down the sidewalk nearby.

I’m sitting in “the cut” on the Carnegie Mellon campus on a beautiful May 10. I’m under the last shade-providing tree adjacent to the tennis courts (how appropriate).

Aside from the intermittent “thock-thock” of tennis balls hitting strings, I hear a perpetual stream of young children’s voices. Apparently there is a day-care next to the tennis courts.

I also hear birds chirping away, resting in trees, talking about what a great day it is outside. The newly green leaves provide them ample shade, as they do for me as well.

Now that is unique. A singer in the drama building has her window open, and she’s warming up her vocal chords to what sounds like the “Star Trek” theme song. Or is it “Buck Rodgers?” Something having to do with space.

I’m close enough to the sidewalk to become fascinated by the different sounds people’s shoes make. There are some heels…now, some flip-flops.

“Do you want me to be, like, slutty?” That’s amusing. There are a couple girls wandering around taking pictures of each other. Yes, they are fully clothed.

Today is the first truly sunny day I’ve encountered in Pittsburgh. As such, I’m amazed by the beauty of this place. The buildings’ bricks are illuminated in a light color, like gold but non-metallic, whereas on the typical cloudy days it seems more like gray.

The tennis courts are a nice, pleasant Carnegie Mellon-maroon color. Their inhabitants cannot hold a rally for more than two shots. Yes, I’m a huge tennis snob.

A guy just walked by speaking Spanish to his cell phone. He’s wearing sunglasses with shiny metallic strips on the side, something I often see from fashion designer sunglasses. I wonder if he’s rich.

Tattoos. And lots of them. Two women just walked by, one covered in tattoos from arms to chest; her partner had none and looked a thousand times more “wholesome.” However, their faces were fairly similar; I think they are sisters.

Seeing all these people walk by, I miss college. Even though, of course, I’m technically in college. It’s not the same as the young, fresh undergraduate experience. You’ve left the nest your parents built for you. You’re about to take in a wealth of new knowledge and try to figure out what to do with you life. There is so much uncertainty, but you embrace it. You walk around aimlessly just to see what friends are doing. You go out to the courtyard to play ultimate Frisbee with your friends, catch some sun, take some pictures, do your homework, or just sit down and observe the world around you, because you can.

Here We Go Again...

(I wrote this earlier, and just got an internet connection to post it.)

Right now I’m on AA3361 heading to Pittsburgh for another Fast Week. Of course, that also means that my flight was delayed by an hour earlier and my luggage will most likely be lost when I arrive. Sigh.

As usual, it promises to be a lot of work and a lot of fun. I only hope I can make it through without spontaneously combusting due to my body finally giving in to the incessant, massive load of work I have on my plate. “Work-work” has been particularly bad lately; I actually worked the last couple Saturdays, which was joyous, as you might imagine. Can you say “deadlines?”

The particularly bad work^2 makes schoolwork seem particularly brutal. Mini 4 just finished (my partner and I turned in our last big paper last night around midnight), and although it was honestly “typical” in terms of the workload, it seemed like pure misery for the entire 7-week duration. At least during Fast Week, I won’t have to worry about work^2. Well, other than the looming thought in the back of my mind that it will be brutal when I get back. Just thinking about the rest of this year wears me out. I’m ready for the honeymoon (which I’ll experience literally in a couple months, and figuratively when I’m finished with classes, hopefully).

Other random thoughts:

The new Tool album came out last Tuesday. Support good music – go buy it. It’s excellent. They’ve chosen to stay the path the carved with “Lateralus,” which means the songs are more along the lines of a series of epics than bite-size nuggets.

Although I know I shouldn’t, I have a hard time resisting Amazon’s online reviews when new records come out – you have to love comments such as “Once again, they have failed to repeat the catchy, short nature of the songs on “Undertow.” I don’t like it.” No, what you don’t like it artistic integrity, and what you do like is poppy crap, you imbeciles. Read the lyrics to “Wings” Parts I and II (Maynard’s homage to his late mother who was paralyzed when he was young), and if you aren’t moved, you have the emotive capacity of a fruit fly.

Of course, I’ve been so swamped that I’ve managed to get through “10,000 Hours” only once over the course of the week, and I’ll need at least 25 or so more listens before I can begin to place it in the hierarchy of Tool goodness, but my gut feeling is very positive. Then again, trying to rank Tool albums has become commensurate with ranking Radiohead albums for me – they are all so good, as soon as you name one you start wincing at not naming another.

I’m wearing my Astros cap right now, but the Rangers (my surrogate home team) have been kicking ass lately. Of course, this has negative correlation with me and Monika’s presence – somehow, we’ve brought a curse upon the Rangers organization. I don’t think we’ve seen them win a game in years. The other night, we were channel-flipping and landed on a game – we were beating the A’s by 2. Our closer comes in, blows it, and the rest is history. So, go Rangers! We’ll try not to watch you too often.

The plane is beginning its slow descent into the Pittsburgh airport, when the blitzkrieg will begin once again. Truthfully, I try to remain thankful that life is so hectic these days. One day, when Monika and I have rugrats, it’ll be nice to tell them about our crazy jet-setting ways. There’s no fun in stagnation, right? If “fun” is the wrong word, then there is definitely nothing to be learned from it. I hope I never stop learning.

Cha-ching!

If you saw Lost tonight, you know what I'm talking about.

Tonight's episode was a bit slow, but the payoff was huge! I can't wait for next week.